Divorce Guide

Guidelines for Managing Contact

Divorce is inevitable if there is extreme incompatibility between the couples. However those with children must make sure that they are still one as parent and provide a congenial and loving environment to the child. This article has a few guidelines for managing contact after divorce or separation so that the child gets love and company of both the parents.

Although fate denied that you stay together as couples, but being the mother and father of small children it is your utmost duty to give the support and care that they need. Parents are wrong to think that they are alone sufficient to take care of the child.

Nancy was enraged when she heard about her husband’s affair with his colleague. Although her husband tried to explain that it was all a rumor she filed divorce and started staying with her 5 year old daughter in another house. Nancy was so angry with her husband that she stopped him from seeing their daughter.

Any child psychologist or counselor will suggest that Nancy’s behavior is extremely unreasonable. Out of ego and ill will she is depriving her child from the love and warmth that a father provides.

Like Nancy, there are many people who do not understand the child’s need to be with both the parents. Sociologists and psychologists believe that complete family experience is very important for healthy development of children.

Thus it is very important that even if you are not staying together as a couple you maintain regular contact with each other and spend quality time together with the child.

The following guidelines for managing contact can help you do better:

Both of you should sit together and plan the days and time you want to be with the child together. It should be taken into consideration that the child might want to spend more time with the nonresidential parent. While planning the schedule give equal cognizance to each other’s work schedule. Choose places and days of the child’s choice.

Whether it’s Christmas, birthday, or any other special event, the child will love to spend with both the parents. So try and accompany the child when he or she is going to meet the nonresidential parent on special occasions. It would be perfectly fine if you cannot make it through out. The presence of both mother and father even for a little while will raise the child’s spirit.

Behave like matured adults and do not discuss anything controversial in front of the child. Just dedicate that day for the happiness of your child.

You must update each other in case there is a change in your contact details like phone number or address. Also keep the other parent updated if there is a change in plan and you cannot make it for the visitation.

Do not be in a grumpy mood while going to meet your ex with the child. Share your child’s excitement so that he or she can feel goes about the meeting. Avoid badmouthing your ex in front of the child and keep up his spirits for the meeting. You need not pour your heart to your ex for the sake of your child, but by taking it as teamwork you can successfully manage your contacts and keep the child happy.

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