Divorce Guide

How to Build Trust and Acceptance with Stepchildren

Becoming a good step parent requires a lot of courage and will power. This article has some tips on how to build trust and acceptance with step children. Although there is no single theory to win your step child’s heart but following certain guidelines can surely set things at ease.

When we talk of step parenting there is bound to be a lot of heart burn on the child’s side. Especially if the child is matured enough to understand the nuances of second marriage there is bound to be a lot of resistance. The child finds it extremely difficult to trust or accept a new parent. The confused emotions of the child stop him from becoming close to the step parent.

Did you know that one in three people in UK are part of the step family situation in some way or the other? This is a situation that requires constant effort of the step parent as well as the child in order to develop a healthy and trustworthy relationship.

It’s not easy for the step parent to accept the child as his own. However as matured and balanced human beings you have to take this responsibility and win your step child’s heart.

Be convinced that the child will not accept you as soon as you want. It will take time, sometimes more sometimes less, for the child to start trusting you. However, you should have your mind and heart open for the child. A child has inner instincts to assess who truly loves him and who does not. So keep up with your good behaviour and patience.

This is a key to successful step parenting. Chances are very high that your step children will misbehave, disobey, and use harsh words, in the beginning. This is where your tolerance will pay. No doubt this kind of behaviour will hurt you but control your feelings and try to forgive the child. Because if both of you rebel the acceptance can never develop. Gradually when the child will see that his harsh behaviour is not affecting you he will stop doing this and start trusting you.

If you want to build an individual relationship with your step children then try and spend some quality time with the child. Indulge in activities that the child likes. For example, a step mother can play doll or cooking games with her step daughter. A father can play the favourite sport of his step son. This is a good way to bond with your step children.

Children are bound to be more undisciplined in front of the step parent. However your first role should be to come closer to the child and leave the gauntlet of disciplining on the real parent. You can start setting rules and enforcing them after the child has accepted you as a parent.

There is no set rule for becoming a trusted step parent. It depends on you how to build trust and acceptance of step children. Just be patient and peaceful and you will win the battle.

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