Divorce Guide

Motivation for Alienation

Millions of sufferers around the world wonder about the motivation for alienation in cases of PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome. PAS is a social problem affecting millions of families and individuals around the globe.

PAS is a very common phenomenon during divorce and post divorce. It has mal-effects on the child, family, and the parent.

What is PAS?

PAS is a condition where one parent paints a bad picture of the other parent in order to distance the child from that parent. In 99.9% cases it is the mother who acts as the alienated and poor father is devoid of his child’s love.

Here the alienator’s role is to dissuade the child from getting emotional about the other parent. To achieve this purpose he or she uses various crooked means. The alienator maligns the character of the other parent by using wrong allegations.

Some of the common allegations used by the parent to brainwash the child are:

1. Holding the parent responsible for breakup of the marriage
2. Saying that he or she does not love the child or never wanted him in this world
3. Convincing the child that the other parent will never care for his happiness
4. Character assassination by calling the person a drunkard, drug addict, infidel, and so on
5. False allegations of physical or emotional abuse by that parent
6. Convincing the child that the parent is greedy for his or her property and does not want the child otherwise
7. Convincing the child that the other parent is not capable of bringing him up.

The above mentioned are some common excuses used to alienate the child from one of the parents. Gradual enforcement of same beliefs turns the child hostile to the other parent, so much so that the child starts abhorring him or her. Children affected by PAS stop meeting or deny staying with such parents.

Have you ever thought that what are the motivations behind the alienators who commit the sin of distancing the child from the other parent?

Winning the child custody battle is the biggest motivation behind alienating the child from the other parent. By turning the child against the other parent the custody battle becomes simple. The child himself denies staying with the other parent and the battle is won by the alienator without even being fought over in the court.

In many cases it is the ego of one parent that motivates him or her to turn the child against the parent. Mike’s ego was deeply hurt when Maria left him for another man. Although Maria loved the child very much and wanted to keep him with herself, Mike alienated the child against her. Mike wanted to avenge her infidelity by doing so. In many cases the ego of the person forces the act of alienation.

Many times the custodial parent gets remarried and wants the child to accept the new parent readily. Alienation is done in such cases to project the new parent better than the original parent.

Motivation for alienation can be anything but the effects are far reaching. The love and warmth of both parents is must for the positive development of child, thus alienation is a sin committed unknowingly.

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