Divorce Guide

Personality of alienators

Hundreds and thousands of parents and children worldwide suffer from PAS. In Parental Alienation Syndrome, a parent alienates the child from the other parent with the help of strategic manipulation. Alienators have a number of negative traits. This article studies the personality of alienators and what goes in their mind.

Let’s study a case of Parental Alienation in order to have a better understanding of such personalities. Maria and John were happily married. However Maria was very possessive about John and always used to suspect his character. When their child was born the couple’s happiness knew no bounds.

Maria was quite possessive about the child too. So much so that she did not even let John have a free hand over the child. After 5 years when the couple got divorced Maria was given the custody of the child. Poor John was left out when Maria did not let meet the child regularly. She never encouraged the child about his relationship with father. Gradually the child was completely alienated from John. So Maria, who was once a possessive wife, slowly became an obsessive mother and an alienator.

As we see in this example, alienators are obsessive by nature. They want to hold on to something tight and not share it with anyone. They also have a feeling that somebody might take away their things.

Here are some more traits that describe an alienator:

1. Alienators are generally impulsive and sensitive. They overreact on trivial issues and cannot control their emotions easily. They are also resentful and alienate the children from their ex spouses to avenge divorce. Most of alienators are high in ego and cannot tolerate the broken relationship.
2. Alienators are generally insecure by nature. They feel that if they do not own a thing completely the other person will take it away. As we have seen in the case of Maria, she was already possessive about her husband and later became an alienator for her child.
3. Some alienators are obsessed with the thought of winning. They just don’t want to lose to their partners. Thus in order to win the custody battle they manipulate and brainwash the child against the other parent. To win the child’s preference they turn them against the other parent.
4. Alienators do not hesitate to use wrong and unethical ways to alienate the child from the other parent. They tell false stories, talk all negative things about the other parent, and also do not hesitate to use abusive language against them in front of the child. They use dramatic ways to convince the child like crying, getting depressed, fainting, and being oblivious.
5. Alienators get great joy in excluding the other parent from the child’s life. Although they satisfy their ego by doing so, they fail to understand that it is going to be extremely harmful for the child’s future. Such people lose the ability to think about the welfare of children and become selfish to satisfy their own ego.

The personality of an alienator is no different from a sociopath or psychopath. They become obsessed with the idea of completely owning the child and become alienators.

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