Divorce Guide

Does My Child Need a Person To Talk To In My Divorce?

Divorce is a painful experience for the parents and children alike. Children get confused and you need to help children in such crisis. Even an infant may not understand what is going on but can sense the change. Children who are six years and above can understand things and are the ones who suffer the most.

When you and your spouse have made a decision to divorce, the first thing you will have to do is to think about the kids involved. You need to talk to your kid about the divorce.

How to talk to kids about the divorce:

When in a divorce it is important you talk to your child about things. It is better if both of you are present while you do the talking. It is very important that you take parenting decisions together even if you no longer wish to live together.

Keep aside you differences whenever your child is concerned. Decide beforehand what and how you are going to tell about the divorce and how things are going to change.

Your child will have a lot of questions and it is extremely important that you listen carefully to whatever your child says. Answer them the best you can and make them understand that you are divorcing each other and not the child. be truthful while you are dealing with your child and be honest even if you cannot be specific. Be prepared for the following questions when you are getting divorced.

1. Who will live with them?
2. Will they have to move out?
3. Where will mom/dad live?
4. Will I get to see my friends?
5. Will I have to change school?
6. Can I go to the summer camp?
7. Can I do my favorite activities?

Children often think that they are the reason of divorce and blame themselves. Stress that it is not their fault and that it is final and nothing can change it.

Assure them that both the parents are available and will be present in their lives no matter what. You may even discuss the difference between marital love and parental love if your kid is 6 years old. Make them understand that you will always love them and that it will never change.

Never ever, talk in a negative fashion to the kids. Also, take care never to fight or say negative things about your spouse when your kids are around. Try to keep negativity away from your kids. Never use your kids as spies against your spouse. It will put them in a very awkward position and may cause a lot of pain.

Children and divorce:

Children will have many queries regarding the divorce. Address all your child’s concerns and be honest with them. Divorce brings a lot of change and is a real loss to the kids. Children miss the family and parent they had. It is natural for kids to hope that their parents may some day get back together. Mourning for the loss of the family is normal. Kids react differently in such situations. Some show that they are fine and avoid all difficulties while others may get angry. Also, tell them that their anger is justified and that they can talk some other time.

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